I wish this conversation would have lasted longer and for me to have been less guarded about exposing my less than Muslim believes with this man.
M gets on a train to go to Ginza Japan Fest in Chicago.
Sits across from a man staring at the window.
Stranger: Are you Arabian?
M: Yes. (rest of conversation is spoken strictly in Arabic)
Stranger: Where are you from? *other passengers start to stare*
M: Yemen (No I will NOT ask you where you're from to further this conversation I should have just told you I'm not Arabic)
Stranger: O will you please pray to Allah for me.
M: Why?
Stranger: I'm very ill.
M: May Allah cure you.
Stranger: Thank you, thank you love.
M: *puts headphones back on and looks at opposite direction*
Stranger: Where is Allah right now?
M: He's watching you and me and everyone else, from up above.
Stranger: O wow Allah is awesome. I've been a sinner, I wonder if Allah will ever forgive me.
M: Sure, no one is perfect.
Stranger proceeds to show me his upper gum which contains brown deposits in place of what used to be his teeth.
M: *smiles*
Stranger: Allah did this to me. I'd like to fuck his sister but he doesn't have one. Do you not sin because of Allah.
M: I do not sin because of morals I've acquired through my parents.
Stranger: Well Allah is an asshole for making me this sick, fuck him and his non existent sister. Goodbye. *man gets off on Belmont*
7.28.2009
August 1999
I was looking for a book and I stumbled upon this. My amazing friend has something similar on her blog and you should read it too.
I may add some more excerpts later. We'll see. I'm directly quoting so not going to revise any grammar and/or spelling issues. My English language skills were almost non existent so be kind. Or not.
I used boy/girl interchangeably. It's interesting to see I've had such struggles without even realizing where they sprung from. I do not remember why I did use boy sometimes and girl other times to describe who I'm attracted to. I do know that I was talking about the opposite sex when I mention one. I.E. "I met a girl I liked" usually means "I met a boy I liked"
August 8th 1999
"my lover, he must be the best person in the world as I think so, must be beautiful, smart and attractive and maybe more. There's some girl that I love her like a friend and more I could love relationship if we have more time to know each other more because I only know her before one month exams start and unfortunately she left to Brittan after exams and she won't come again but after years maybe. So this is my story about my lover and I hope I'll find my lover one day
August 23rd 1999
"Yesterday my father's cousin and his family had visit us and one of them is a boy that big from me two years old. We was knowing each other before but now our relationship became stronger and I think he also feel same think that I feel towards him. And I hope we won't forget each other and there will be a strong relationship....he told me a lot of secrets because he trust me, like he smoke and watches sex movies without his parents know and many more things I can't write. p.s. bad hand writing because I'm sad he's leaving our house tomorrow."
August 29th 1999
"Before seconds my mother a movie because it's for big people, when she said that is that mean that I'm still small, I'm 14 years old now...sometimes when I was in my grandfather's house in Aden they had bought cable channels and one of them is the movie channel and everyone knows what the movie channel shows in it's move like "larry flint vs people""
This should be a great read for my therapist if I had one. What is this strange attractions towards the idea of relationship? I do believe that I took the literal meaning of it back then. Yes, there is a literal and non-literal take on that word. It's so loaded. Also, I clearly had and I still have trust issues.
I may add some more excerpts later. We'll see. I'm directly quoting so not going to revise any grammar and/or spelling issues. My English language skills were almost non existent so be kind. Or not.
I used boy/girl interchangeably. It's interesting to see I've had such struggles without even realizing where they sprung from. I do not remember why I did use boy sometimes and girl other times to describe who I'm attracted to. I do know that I was talking about the opposite sex when I mention one. I.E. "I met a girl I liked" usually means "I met a boy I liked"
August 8th 1999
"my lover, he must be the best person in the world as I think so, must be beautiful, smart and attractive and maybe more. There's some girl that I love her like a friend and more I could love relationship if we have more time to know each other more because I only know her before one month exams start and unfortunately she left to Brittan after exams and she won't come again but after years maybe. So this is my story about my lover and I hope I'll find my lover one day
August 23rd 1999
"Yesterday my father's cousin and his family had visit us and one of them is a boy that big from me two years old. We was knowing each other before but now our relationship became stronger and I think he also feel same think that I feel towards him. And I hope we won't forget each other and there will be a strong relationship....he told me a lot of secrets because he trust me, like he smoke and watches sex movies without his parents know and many more things I can't write. p.s. bad hand writing because I'm sad he's leaving our house tomorrow."
August 29th 1999
"Before seconds my mother a movie because it's for big people, when she said that is that mean that I'm still small, I'm 14 years old now...sometimes when I was in my grandfather's house in Aden they had bought cable channels and one of them is the movie channel and everyone knows what the movie channel shows in it's move like "larry flint vs people""
This should be a great read for my therapist if I had one. What is this strange attractions towards the idea of relationship? I do believe that I took the literal meaning of it back then. Yes, there is a literal and non-literal take on that word. It's so loaded. Also, I clearly had and I still have trust issues.
7.21.2009
fitting into boxes
I have noticed that people hate belonging into a box. Hate checking a mark into one. Gay? Straight? Bi? Asian? White? Single? I, on the other hand, love boxes. I simply adore them! After being so confused about where to belong in this world, I welcome boxes with open arms. Put me there and never take me out.
6.26.2009
Weddings, gay weddings
I just got back from a wedding that I attended. It was my first wedding. Not only was it a wedding at an extremely romantic environment. It was also a gay wedding. Two women professing their love blah blah blah.
I always thought, and maybe tomorrow morning I will, that weddings are for unfulfilled people. People who wanted to believe that they're happy and show other people that they are happy whether they are happy or not. Why would you want to tie a bond unless you're afraid of the bond breaking. Unnecessary ceremony that people got together for to prove their social status and their wallet size. Tonight and maybe for only tonight, my view has been changed.
I don't know how and when for just like it came it went away. This moment of bliss. It seemed like these two women weren't getting married for themselves. They were doing it for ME. To let me know that something "abnormal" could feel so good. That this is not so they could show the world how much money they have or how unrealistically optimistic they are. This is to show me that no matter who you're copulating with, you can survive in this mean judgmental world and have your 60 years old father be happy for you. It doesn't matter what people think, that you will go to hell, reside with Satan. All that matter is that you are here and people who love you don't really care that you have sushi 3 times a day. For a moment there I felt a huge rush of unconditional love go through me. This is getting very cheesy but our lives are cheesy, with hot chips and ground beef too. So if two same sex people want to get married, go right ahead. You have my blessing and my unconditional love to whatever you do in your life.
I always thought, and maybe tomorrow morning I will, that weddings are for unfulfilled people. People who wanted to believe that they're happy and show other people that they are happy whether they are happy or not. Why would you want to tie a bond unless you're afraid of the bond breaking. Unnecessary ceremony that people got together for to prove their social status and their wallet size. Tonight and maybe for only tonight, my view has been changed.
I don't know how and when for just like it came it went away. This moment of bliss. It seemed like these two women weren't getting married for themselves. They were doing it for ME. To let me know that something "abnormal" could feel so good. That this is not so they could show the world how much money they have or how unrealistically optimistic they are. This is to show me that no matter who you're copulating with, you can survive in this mean judgmental world and have your 60 years old father be happy for you. It doesn't matter what people think, that you will go to hell, reside with Satan. All that matter is that you are here and people who love you don't really care that you have sushi 3 times a day. For a moment there I felt a huge rush of unconditional love go through me. This is getting very cheesy but our lives are cheesy, with hot chips and ground beef too. So if two same sex people want to get married, go right ahead. You have my blessing and my unconditional love to whatever you do in your life.
9.23.2008
who knew the bitch would crack
I watched a movie called "A New Day In Old Sana'a" not too long ago. It's available via youtube, fyi. Actually, I'm nice so I'm providing the user and the actual videos are below the post. I enjoyed this movie a lot. The portrait it painted about Yemeni (and I think a lot others in general) culture being so obsessed by reputation is something that pains me much. No matter how hard I try to escape it's always right there. Closer to me than my shadow. This takes me back to when I read Othello. Here is what I'm talking about:
CASSIO
Reputation, reputation, reputation! O, I have lost
my reputation! I have lost the immortal part of
myself, and what remains is bestial. My reputation,
Iago, my reputation!
IAGO
As I am an honest man, I thought you had received
some bodily wound; there is more sense in that than
in reputation. Reputation is an idle and most false
imposition: oft got without merit, and lost without
deserving: you have lost no reputation at all,
unless you repute yourself such a loser. What, man!
there are ways to recover the general again: you
are but now cast in his mood, a punishment more in
policy than in malice, even so as one would beat his
offenceless dog to affright an imperious lion: sue
to him again, and he's yours.
This is my rant. Take it and throw it in the ocean in a bottle filled with hope. May it reach the darkest places and be released to spread some light.
CASSIO
Reputation, reputation, reputation! O, I have lost
my reputation! I have lost the immortal part of
myself, and what remains is bestial. My reputation,
Iago, my reputation!
IAGO
As I am an honest man, I thought you had received
some bodily wound; there is more sense in that than
in reputation. Reputation is an idle and most false
imposition: oft got without merit, and lost without
deserving: you have lost no reputation at all,
unless you repute yourself such a loser. What, man!
there are ways to recover the general again: you
are but now cast in his mood, a punishment more in
policy than in malice, even so as one would beat his
offenceless dog to affright an imperious lion: sue
to him again, and he's yours.
This is my rant. Take it and throw it in the ocean in a bottle filled with hope. May it reach the darkest places and be released to spread some light.
9.11.2008
I've used up all of my tears
Last day in 7th grade two boys came up to me while I was waiting for the bust. One of them took a water bottle and kept hitting my face, yelling out "cry, CRY, I want you to cry". I didn't cry. Until I got home.
When I was 10 my mom took part of my allowance so she could save it for me in order to buy something "big". I said ok. Then I cried in the Kitchen because I didn't think it was fair that other boys had money and could spend it how ever they seemed fit.
I used to live in a basement without a door. I told the landlord to install one. She told me that I need to hold my horses and if I don't like it I can leave. I cried that night.
When I came to the States I remembered that I made my sisters cry. I called them, said sorry and cried when I hung up.
I have cried so much that I don't think I can anymore. I sometimes think if I'll cry if one of my parents die.
When I was 10 my mom took part of my allowance so she could save it for me in order to buy something "big". I said ok. Then I cried in the Kitchen because I didn't think it was fair that other boys had money and could spend it how ever they seemed fit.
I used to live in a basement without a door. I told the landlord to install one. She told me that I need to hold my horses and if I don't like it I can leave. I cried that night.
When I came to the States I remembered that I made my sisters cry. I called them, said sorry and cried when I hung up.
I have cried so much that I don't think I can anymore. I sometimes think if I'll cry if one of my parents die.
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